David Thayer

In order to improve the quality of this blog the research department is busy reading the Word Press information. After a meeting of the board of directors it was decided to fire the head writer, David Thayer, and go with a committee of contributors. Yes, we know his name is on the blog, but his attack on the film industry, coinciding with Roman Polanky’s triumph over Vanity Fair, was the sort of ad hominem attack the editorial board loathes. While it is true he didn’t mention Mr. Polansky in his piece, the board feels he singled out Michael Eisner whose book about summer camp brought tears to our eyes. That might have been acceptable, but the reference to I Dream of Jeannie was over the top. That’s not journalism. Our chairman wept.

Fortunately for you, dear reader, writers come cheap. We’ve interviewed several in the past few days, a task that must be compared to Roman emperors interviewing gladiators. Not that we condone the wearing of togas or forcing people to fight for their lives against incredible odds. Rest assured. We’ve hired a person who has the utmost respect for the cultural institutions as represented by Hollywood, Bollywood, ReganBooks, Movie of the Week, Jane Fonda in latter day and, of course, Viacom chairman Sumner Redstone who realized the other day that he owns Simon & Schuster but cannot remember why.

Airing our soiled laundry in a public forum is of course anathema to our investment bankers, currently serving time for alleged irregularities. Our legal team will vet future entries with an eye toward preventing the sort of outburst Thayer unleashed. We also completely disagree with his central thesis that books are triumphant over television and film. Sure The Golden Bowl was good. He likes Bel Canto. But is there any comparison to the moment when the actress whose name escapes us wrinkles her nose and creates witchcraft?

Fired for blogging. How sad. This is Corporate America, thanking you for the invention of at will employment. It’s all about power, and we thank the Almighty that we have it and you don’t. Anon.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 23rd, 2005 at 7:14 am and is filed under Unsolicited. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.