Blogger with Pen and Ink
Mini vacation wrapup: Straights of Juan de Fuca, immortalized by GM Ford in Who the Hell is Wanda Fuca. Pandering to the Inner Tourist, staring lovingly at the breakwater, MV Prince William Sound, blue water, the Victoria ferry, the usual collection of gulls and cormorants hanging around street corners waiting to unload on your car. The desire to shoot a seagull is rooted in the fear that, left unattended, the valet parking guy is choosing gull dropping points in exchange for kickbacks. If I were James Elroy, the boys from Vegas would take care of the airborne rats, the valet punks, a government in Southeast Asia, and a sitting federal judge. That’s how high it goes.
Tried blogging with a ball point pen and a small but neatly lined pad of paper. In the serenity of purple mountains, pristine lakes and meandering RVs, thought blogging by pen might work. Thought trees and snow capped peaks might soothe. Watercolor of Blogger with Pen and Ink hit the retinas. Turns out that blogging with pen and ink is just doodling, that the wilderness has its own mojo working and yeah, it has an Air Force. Nobody asked you to come. Perhaps that phrase should greet every visitor to our national parks. Carmen Electra could be the spokesperson, Dennis Rodman standing by in mute testimony to the whim of Mother Nature.
The quest for Walden leads inevitably to bad jokes about the mall. No gulls at the mall. No guys in Smokey hats pointing the finger. One of the things that’s missing in the outdoors is Musak, which is why we don’t know what to feel when a whale jumps out of the ocean right before our very eyes, nearly swamping the Minnow and her crew. The disclocated urbanite stands dejected, having failed the REI snap quiz. Do you enjoy ocean kayaking? Sure. Do you enjoy blogging with pen and ink?