Google Print: A Live Demonstration
Sonoma, California: We’re gathered outside the public library on West Napa Street to witness the first attempt by Google engineers to digitize an entire library. A small crowd has gathered near the orange Google Tent in the parking lot. Excitement builds as Millicent Kroft, Chief Librarian, reassures the assembled crowd that, quote, “there is no hocus pocus involved here. Although when the Googlebot emerges from the tent, everyone please don their 3D glasses. And no talking!”
The 3D glasses lend a mauve undertone as the Googlebot is wheeled out of the tent. Professor Robert Redbank of Stanford University’s Internet Think Tank explains the procedure: “The Googlebot is armed with a laser. When positioned correctly, its directional beam will penetrate the outer walls of the edifice, causing no harm, it will then seek out the books and suck the content into its lead shielded cerebellum. The data will be uplinked to orbiting Google Sats and from there, to Mountain View where Google designers will capture the incoming data with Google Gloves. This is not experimental: it’s already been proven that Google Gloves can absorb the life’s work of Virginia Wolfe.”
Professor Redbank has lowered his 3D glasses into place: here’s the Googlebot! The bot is in position; the order to fire echoes across the parking lot. The laser is turning! The green light has missed the library! Something has gone wrong….no wait, here comes Officer Pete Perry. He looks angry. “Okay, which one of you stole all the ciabatta?”
My God, they’ve digitized the bakery!