Comedy or Drama? Wellington Leg Votes with Its Feet
The Dowager Princess and her NFL blog remained the most popular show for the third consecutive week, according to Media Consultant Arthur Griffins. “The studio audience enjoyed her insightful and sometimes earthy observations. ‘Raider smackdown’ was the single most viewed entry, although the results from Sweeps Week have stirred controversy. Phillipa Maginot of the BBC said that reports of non-human viewership have skewed the result.
“Present in the audience were several dozen hogs…part of an experiment by Professor Jeffrey Archer. The hogs were equipped with voting devices. When they liked what they saw, they remonstrated openly, often causing people in the focus group to lose focus.”
The hogs enjoyed Donald Trump enormously. “We’re not sure why, but we’re curious. Ninety two percent of the porkers expressed a desire to be ‘more like Donald Trump, than not.’ That’s an extraordinary result.”
Others were displeased. “On this first weekend of the holiday shopping season, we’re frankly dismayed that the opinions of hogs, who do not shop, are being highlighted in this manner.”
Various products were offered to the hogs: An Aston-Martin, Corn Flakes, and a copy of Voltaire’s Miasma. “Other than blowing the horn, the hogs seemed uncertain as to the DB9’s performance characteristics…the Corn Flakes were scattered hither and yon…the Earl’s potboiler dogearred in several places,” reported the professor. “Much work remains to be done.”