This Blog Has Been Selected for the Nine Rules Network. The Earl Offers Thanks
Tough to blog when you’re about to be beheaded. Or so one would think. This reporter tracked down the Earl at a KOA campsite in Kern County, California where the Volvo to the Stars has thrown a rod. Despite the rough conditions, the Earl was busy answering fan mail. The interview was conducted according to the BW Guiding Principles:
Q: Your celebrity seems to be limited to a handful of bookish people. Why is that?
A: It’s early days! I see myself as a literary Carmen Electra, at once accessible to the public, yet curiously aloof. It’s a complex persona, difficult to reduce to catch phrases without resorting to Latin.
Q: Are you the first victim of an abalone attack?
A: I think the abalone incident is behind us now. Lars, the Publicist of Gloom, has polled the entire campsite and forty three percent of the respondents regard gastropods with a heady blend of fear and respect.
Q: Michelle Campo-De Guerre wrote in Le Soir that you may be the worst writer on the planet. How does that make you feel?
A: Well, that one hurt. After years of training and preparation, endless hours of toil, spurious rejection letters, conferences, classes, and critique groups, I had hoped to be further along by now. With the Volvo on the sidelines, this is a wonderful opportunity for reflection, however. Saddened, shaken, torn from the bosom of Wellington Leg, I’m Kerouac awaiting my satori. That’s why we’re headed for Bakersfield.
Q: What Does Being in the Nine Rules Network mean for you?
A: A benediction. It lends this endeavor an air of legitimacy sadly lacking previously. As you may know, this blog is a constant tug of war between myself and others…unnamed others…wherein unseemly outbursts have been the rule of the day.
Q: Finally, what will you do if beheaded?
A: Carry on, of course. A sequel to Voltaire’s Miasma is in the works. I think Hollywood may beckon. Already Lars is in contact with ueber agents and sub agents, managers, handlers, wranglers, and roustabouts. We’ve formed an Entourage, including a leading Marine Biologist. We’re a head gasket away from fame!