Continental Tipping Point. Canada May be Empty. Tod and Lee Goldberg Hit Seattle
Dateline: Seattle, Washington. Olivia Earthwindandfire reporting: “I’m standing on Queen Anne hill gazing westward….what? Oh Sorry. Gazing, as it happens, southward toward the Seattle Mystery Book Store on Cherry Street, scene of tomorrow’s joint appearance by Lee and Tod Goldberg, who’ve courageously abandoned near perfect weather conditions to come north. The forecast calls for rain, snow, sleet, frozen ears, red noses, wind, fog, drizzle, freshening breezes near the shore, colder inland and at elevation even as this reporter can attest, this is no time to be standing on Queen Anne or Magnolia Bluff. My CBC counterpart Robert Parker picks up the story from Ottawa. Robert?”
“Olivia, the press in this frigid capital are abuzz over the news that a few days ago, Canada was empty, its entire population having driven south. First to return were Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Demuth of Hamilton, Ontario. Fortunately, the Demuths were able to maintain much of the nation’s infrastructure during the unprecedented crisis. From grooming the slopes in BC to operating the locks between the Great Lakes, the Demuths hand their hands full. “It was cold on the Mackenzie,” Mr. Demuth said. He returned in time to sign BJ Ryan to a contract with the Bluejays. “We’re pooped,” said Mrs. Demuth.
“Officials are taking steps to see this does not reoccur. This is CBC correspondent Robert Parker reporting barechested from Bahia del Mar, Alberta.”