Curiouser and Curiouser: Wellington Leg Imperiled
Near a Copse of Chestnut Trees Outside Wellington Leg: Geraldo Riviera reporting: I have to whisper this report. At risk to my own life, my career, perhaps even my mustache, I’m imbedded with a unit of police from Wellington Leg, led by DCI Borchardt. The team is investigating reports that two Roman legions are menacing the town and its environs. After careful preparation, Borchardt and his men, and this reporter, are perched on a hillock or small hill where darkness on the edge of town is yielding to a glorious sunrise, oh, it’s beautiful!
Oops. DCI Borchardt explains: “Those horsemen are scouts from the Legio Valeria Victrix. I’m afraid your lamentable outcry has attracted their attention. Oh My God, one of them is waving!”
“Geraldo, don’t wave back!”
Roberta, if you’re still receiving, I’m crawling forward to meet the scouts. I can see the daylight flashing from their swords…hello, I’m Geraldo Riviera…Roberta one of the scouts is pressing the tip of his sword to the microphone…they seem curious…I’m drawing a map in the dirt. Send help, Roberta. A centurion is approaching. I think he understands me…fair and balanced…I’m being dragged away, lashed to a horse. Does Dan Rather speak Latin? Call Dan…this is Geraldo Riviera reporting.