Letters to the Earl
Mrs. Leona Glasnost of Trenton New Jersey asks, “Is your blog a blantant attempt at promoting your stupid book?”
Dear Leona, Thank you so much for writing. As you know I’m trapped in my chimney so forgive me in advance if I seem curt. All correspondence must be dictated to Haskell who then must relay my words to Depew; the liberties taken by my dogsbody would shock you. Anyway, yes my blog is a blatant attempt to promote not only my book, Voltaire’s Miasma, but my Internet service the Earl’s Own Dial-up and Telephony Service which features ESS ( Earl’s Simple Syndication) which is manually installed in your basement or attic by a team of crack technicians. I’m not certain quite where Trenton is, although I believe Lord Cornwallis may have slept there. If that’s true, and Haskell is nodding in affirmation, or he’s falling asleep, it’s difficult to know…we can offer the Lord Cornwallis Simple Syndication or LCSS. Thus equipped, Leona, you are the analog equivalent of a bolt of lightning, always one step ahead of business rivals when attempting to go ‘online’ as we call it. YHS, The Earl.
I think Haskell is asleep. Perhaps my words are echoing beneath me so that Depew can eliminate the middle man. Are we blogging? Haskell? Depew? Being me requires endless patience.