This is Goodbye.
Your correspondent is suffering from a case of identity theft. The once and future David Thayer is now capable of being in two places at once with varying degrees of enjoyment derived by the two of us. The real me is filling out endless forms at the bank under the scrutiny of raised eyebrows and notary stamps. The new me, the unrealized bon vivante, is stealing shit and going to Vegas. That pisses me off because I know I wouldn’t go to Vegas, but if I did, I would at least like to be there with my new credit card probably sporting some new duds a modern hairpiece wolfing down a Porterhouse secure in the knowledge that when the bill comes due for the party the original version of me will have to fill out more forms of inadequate protest in the lobby of the bank under raised eyebrows and notarized squalls of protestation.
Tod Goldberg has a word for this, a word I might borrow depending on how all of this turns out. Meanwhile if the person with my identity would like to make themselves useful how about taking over the blog for a while? Blogging might slow you down some while the geniuses at Pay Pal issue more credit in your name just in case you haven’t done enough damage. Pay Pal doesn’t report any of this for thirty days and thirty nights. That’s their policy. I think if Napoleon Bonaparte applied for a Pay Pal account and listed his address as heaven he would be approved in no time. Then he could go to Vegas. Let’s all go.