The Dowager Princess In Pioneer Square Brawl
Dateline: Seattle’s Waterfront: Delmonico Roth reporting. In the aftermath of last night’s NFC championship game The Dowager Princess was detained after fights broke out along First Avenue South. Seattle PD spokesperson Sid Vancouver had this to say: “She was collecting winnings from the crowd at Doc Maynard’s when some guys from Eugene started complaining about globalization. That appeared to set her off.”
A high speed chase ended in Ballard where a Sons of Norway contingent wrestled her to the ground. The Princess and her miniature poodle, Joe Willy, are being represented in the matter by ueber agent to the stars Lydia Careerbreaker. Ms. Careerbreaker remarked, “I see a memoir here…redemption can only occur after great trial and tribulation.”
“Some salmon were thrown,” added Mr. Vancouver. He is a descendant of Captain Vancouver and was able to deliver his manuscript to Miss Careerbreaker outside the King County lockup. “My book is a gritty account of my days as a Capitol Hill busboy. I name names.”
The Earl, who had the Panthers plus three, is returning to Wellington Leg to host the forthcoming Literary Faire sponsored by the Somerset and Devon Ladies Guild. Before leaving Seattle he was awarded the Gefillte Trophy presented by the winner of the Kathy Lee Gifford Essay Contest, Sid Vancouver. Sid’s essay, entitled Yes I Can, offered a gritty view of his days as a Beltway insider. Sid worked as a barrista at a Lafayette Park coffee shop. He wants to return to the capitol and become a fulltime lobbyist, help humanity, stop the global warming and score some chicks. Delmonico Roth reporting.