Staff Recommendations
You have to wonder about a law enforcement agent skulking around in toga candida. DCI Borchardt has been dressing this way for a week now, long enough to rule out the toga party theory floated by Haskell. I only mention this because Borchardt has recommended Ciitzen Vince to those in the holding cell beneath the earl’s refurbished prison on Smokemifyougotem Strasse. Everyone incarcerated there stands accused of barratry aboard the luxurious MV Gastropod a conspiracy of sprawling dimensions.
I was dismayed to find that no one recommended Voltaire’s Miasma although several factors may have influenced the Edgar nominating panel. Lingering doubt over the authenticity of certain passages coupled with professional jealousy and a soupcon of schadenfreude may have doomed the effort. While it is true that we charged school children five dollars apiece to tour Great Puffinghammer, five dollars merely covered the cost of Haskell’s droll tour guide costume, a rented morning suit that required subsequent dry cleaning; my motto remains ’suffer the children’ but I fear Lars made a hash of spinning the news. He is surrendering his post as my publicist to return full time to Volvo Repair and Maintenance and Gloom.
Doctor Peppy has taken the helm, already contacting ueberagent Lydia Careerbreaker on my behalf. Although he refers often to “Brad” and “Jen” neither of these individuals reside in these parts and may, in fact, be imaginary friends. This bears watching. The hogs are rustling in the fens; stout fellows!