Your Hipbone is Connected to Leading Economic Indicators
Ah, the Baby Boomers. Aging gracefully but aging nonetheless. Our own Boomer expert Matthew Bonebreaker reports from the trading floor of the Piltdown Exchange. “I’m holding a ball joint for an artificial hip…the latest technology in hip replacement for the Boomer generation. The joint…can I say joint? I can, okay, the joint is the size of a baseball made of space age materials similar to the Jetsons dinette set. It enables the patient if not the impatient to lead an active life after hip replacement surgery. New breakthroughs in knees and shoulders ankles and wrists complement the hip although to date not much thought has been given to color coordinating the replacement parts although bar codes will be attached to facilitate mind control…”
Thanks Michael, and don’t Bogart that hip, my friend. Professor Moriarity, who lives near Stanford, thinks this trend has large implications for the publishing industry. “Boomers will experience long periods of forced inactivity as they recover from these procedures. After exhausting other options such as Gilligan’s Island they will turn to books…”
Spoiler Alert: Gilligan’s Island never ends; it recycles through the same episodes in a perpetual loop. Since they’re stranded on an island with the skyline of LA visible through the haze it does beg the question why don’t they just leave? It’s heavy, man. The lost episode features Jean-Paul Sartre as a dinghy operator.