Easter Parade In Wellington Leg
Geraldo Riviera reporting: With only trainee Gus Flaubert at his side Geraldo infiltrated the cabal planning this year’s Easter fete. Flaubert agonized over the lead paragraph for most of the night before penning this immortal lede: The parade will be led by the Earl who has donated his 1954 Ariel Square Four as the principal means of transport. Irony abounds as the Earl’s pink bunny ears and cotton tail evoke the bourgeois sensibility we so detest. Last year the earl mesmerized the crowd with his reading from Madame Bovary; this year, the pubs are closing early to prevent a reoccurrence.
The official title of this year’s parade is the Goth Costco and Barnes and Noble Wellington Leg Easter Parade; a surprise visit from the Prosecutrix Mrs. Anderson-Cooper has flummoxed the Organizing Committee chaired by Viscount and Mrs. Pendragon, who have underwritten the cost of one tank full for the Square Four. Viscount Pendragon will don the ceremonial egg costume designed by haute couture House of Wellington. Layers of pink chiffon and a soupcon of Irish lace were stolen from a warehouse in Henley Hornbrook; Mrs. Anderson-Cooper promises a vigorous investigation although she had her fingers crossed when she said that. Pedestrians in pink chiffon will be targeted, promised DCI Borchardt whose collection of antimassacar is the envy of many. Lace doily production will not resume until Tuesday.
The parade will be incorporated into the reality television series The Earl’s Beheading according to Producer and Director Oliver Castinstone. “There won’t be a dry eye in the house,” he promised. Additional security for the parade will provided by men with arrows through their heads. “They’re the only guys willing to work on a Sunday,” reported Viscount Pendragon. “It’s deplorable.”