Four Year Old Novelist Signs Seventy Book Deal
Dateline Wellington Leg: Four year old Eugenia Phaeton of suburban Goth has signed a seventy book deal with an unnamed publisher announced Lydia Careerbreaker, Ueberagent. Ms. Careerbreaker was struck by Eugenia’s unusual wit in an email about preschool politics. “She captured the zeitgeist perfectly,” said Professor Moriarity who reviewed the email exchange while rebuilding a small bore Lotus. “The day goes faster,” she wrote, “when Timmy is sick.”
“When Timmy is Sick” has been optioned for film by Milo Minderbender Enterprises for seven figures and a box of crayons. Storyboards have been erected in places frequented by Eugenia in the event inspiration strikes. “The completed manuscript is due in July,” said Eddie “No Pressure” Testarossa. Page One was lost in a peanut butter and jelly industrial accident according to claims adjuster Big Hands Teddy Wonk. “It’s a total loss,” Big Hands said.
Despite the setback handlers and wranglers assigned to the project are optimistic. “No cartoons for Eugenia,” said an unnamed source not very close to the situation. “Her tour of Baltimore is on hold.”
Professor Moriarity hopes to have his Lotus roadworthy by the time “When Timmy is Sick” reaches editors this summer. “I hope she likes Gummibears,” he said. Forty thousand of them were located in the boot of the Lotus. “Still edible, but the colors are odd.”