David Thayer

Dateline Wellington Leg: The virtual offices of the Druidical & Literary were raided shortly after dawn. The raid involved very tiny people wearing specialized equipment such as official Old Guy Sunglasses and Google Chest Protectors. Thus equipped the members of the flying squad were delivered into cyberspace with a specially modified squirt gun designed by D&L reporter and apparent turncoat, Bobby G. The warrants were provided by Judge Crater who indicated in court documents that he was tired of “missing out.” The jurist’s sympathies were aroused by Bobby G’s continued complaining about working from a stairwell, albeit a virtual one.

Collected in the raid were “various blogging impedimenta and equipamentos” according to reporter Aemelia Erhardt. These objects were gathered during a surprise heat wave that forced many of the strike team members to don damp cloths worn on their skulls. In one frightening encounter two men wearing identical Old Guy Sunglasses collided from five feet away, interrupting the flow of data from the blogger’s lair. Several pair of bunny slippers were confiscated.

Mrs. Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe ordered the raid after weekend “posts” were found to be both “offensive and silly.” She promises that new staff will be assigned to the Druidical & Literary as soon as suitable candidates can be interviewed. “I think the opinions of people…wearing bunny slippers must perforce be rejected out of hand,” she said. In an embarrassing sidebar to the story Chalfont-Smythe was discovered wearing Boris and Natasha slippers she claimed not to recognize. This is the earl reporting.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 30th, 2006 at 1:17 pm and is filed under Page Seven: Scandals, scandals, and midtown traffic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.