David Thayer

It’s that time of year when tourists in shorts and parkas appear on the streets. They’re a bit dazed by the weather, by the men throwing fish, the gales and the native aversion to umbrellas. After thirty or forty days of rain even the locals begin to grumble as they are tired of the forecast: a sunball shrouded by clouds with an artistic bolt of lightning on a field of black. The sun will appear Thursday. In San Jose. Hah. Canadians enjoy the balmy temps and hike through the city parks wondering what all the fuss is about. Icelanders are happy too.

Sooner or later the visitor will want a book. They enter Barnes & Noble and rejoice: it’s not raining! They are greeted by a staffmember who says “Yeah?” Since Walmart has the corner on the Old Guys in Vests B&N has Young People. These youngsters are suspicious sorts and wonder why you’ve come all the way from Tulsa, where’s it hot, to the Pacific Norhwest, where it’s cold.

The indies have climate control too. Remember if you’re planning a trip to Seattle or Portland, or Vancouver this summer bring the following items: sunscreen. You won’t need it but you want it in your suitcase along with a sunhat and Raybans. Maps: a good map will highlight areas most subject to flooding: visit those places first. Phillies gear. Very few people here hate the Phillies. If you’re visiting from the Scottish Highlands you may find the temperatures uncomfortable. Old guys in Ballard will say “she’s a scorcher,” if the temp is above 68 degrees Fahrenheit. Don’t pack books, we have those. Look for thoroughfares with awnings. Don’t be fooled if you see a sunball on the weather channel. That’s the weather in Dallas.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 13th, 2006 at 6:31 am and is filed under Crime Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.