The appearance of the French dreadnaught “Adrienne Barbeau” caused consternation early Sunday as the Sultan’s forces gathered aboard the “Prinz Wilhelm” to discuss strategy. Fearing the “Adrienne Barbeau’s” big guns and reputation for ruthlessness, the Sultan ordered conscripts to report for duty at the gathering place outside the Hotel Faz. Admiral Howe reviewed the first rank of volunteers, whom he described as “quiet, rather formally dressed fellows, who, when provided rifles and ammo belts, departed the rally point without a word.”
It was hours later that the Admiral realized that his conscripts were emperor penguins. Blaming Costco for his new prescription, the Admiral was shocked and relieved when the penguins mounted an amphbious assault. The “Adrienne Barbeau” withdrew to international waters rather than face the “determined fury of these unconventional fighting birds.”
Citizens were heartened by the sight of the earl in full, if somewhat snug uniform. A team of tailors had worked throughout the night to prepare the majestic garment. The earl appeared in his restored Hispano Suiza, armed only with a broadsword, believed to have been taken from a local theater’s production of “Pirates of Penzance,” a performance whose noon debut is much anticipated. The earl’s driver, erstwhile sports editor Mandy Rice-Davies, wore Louis Vuitton combat gear with matching ammo case.
“Upon arrival at the beach, the earl raised his sword leading the pengiuns into the surf line whereupon the Interlopers fled.” The earl was rescued by crew members filming “Baywatch Wellington Leg” for GoogleVision. “He forgot to wait two hours after eating,” said lifeguard Pam. “We were like…wow, is that guy crazy?”
DCI Borchardt reported that the penguins dropped their muskets on the beach before entering the fray. “Stout fellows all,” he said.
The real Adrienne Barbeau was in San Jose this weekend, at the book club expo. I’m horrified to admit that I checked out her chest in the fleeting moment as she walked past. I was disappointed. She wasn’t as bouyant as her pictures would have you believe.
Maybe the HMS Pamela Anderson would have better luck.
Your sistah
Are you sure it was the real Adrienne Barbeau? There are those who double as these famous people.
She was plugging her book.
Yikes. Do you realize what googlers you’re going to attract now that you’ve mentioned Adrienne Barbeau and Pamela Anderson on your blog?
Hi, guys.
This is all about great authors.