Beach Reopened for Readers: Wellington Leg Calm
Not to be outdone by mainstream publications, the Druidical & Literary has prepared a list of beach reading. This represents a poignant moment for residents of Wellington Leg so recently entangled in the gun boat diplomacy waged by the European Union. Op-Ed reporter Grealdo notes, “the fact that Europe must accomodate a more difficult monetary policy, break up into 1568 fiefdoms, principates, duchies, and city-states in no way warrants unbridled agression against Wellington Leg, and unincorporated Goth.”
Oiver Castinstone is wondering what’s new from Hard Case Crime. Oliver carries those editions when he goes to the beach. After having sand kicked in his face “by some Palooka” Oliver also packs a weathered edition of “Gravity’s Rainbow” for use if things get rough.
The Earl, not one for surf and sand after his abalone attack off Santa Cruz, one of the few recorded assaults of that nature, recommends Ken Bruen’s “The Dramatist” with Patrick Quinlan’s “Smoked” as a fallback. “Red Abalone are dangerous when riled,” he added.
Field reporter Anna Nicole recommends Eduardo Santiago’s “Tomorrow They Will Kiss.” She also applauds the city of San Francisco for selecting “The Hummingbird’s Daughter,” as its one book choice. Anna hopes to unseat Mayor James Warden as a writein candidate. Mayor Warden’s popularity among the deceased represents a significant obstacle to her candidacy: “They love him,” she admitted.
Financial writer Stanley Morgan is reading John Sclazi’s “The Old Man’s War” as well as Donald Trump’s latest thoughts on wealth. He noted that the Piltdown Exchange suffered minor damage after the shelling over the weekend. “We’ve lost our Live Hogs Pit,” he lamented. Pork belly trading will continue in the overflow lot outside Goth Costco according to DCI Borchardt. “We’ve been resupplied,” he added. Crime had come to a virtual standstill after a shortage of yellow tape hindered policing efforts. The new tape is not yellow but rather a cheerful amber.
More staff recommendations are forthcoming promises Beach Editor Scooter. Has the latest Adrienne Barbeau title along with the new Updike. “Man, she can write,” Scooter said.