David Thayer

As summer approaches…no it’s here, on time for a change. As summer approaches it is okay to wear a plum sports jacket on Public Television as long the topic under discussion, ICBMs, North Korea, has a certain gravitas. Rick Santorum has proof of pre-war weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. I wonder what William Penn’s level of regret might be that his beloved sylvania is represented by Rick. Penn might draw solace from the knowledge that, short of an invasion by French dissidents from Quebec, his commonwealth remains secure. North Korean missiles can only reach the West Coast. Whew, that’s a relief if you live in our nation’s capital or travel frequently. The missile might land in a field of hops somewhere near Yakima causing a brief hiatus in summertime fluff pieces about global warming.

It would be cause for greater consternation if we personalize North Korea’s ICBM story. Okay, you’ve laid your money down for a writer’s conference. You’ve arrived at the venue in a picturesque hamlet on the West Coast of the United States. You’re about to pitch your manuscript to an agent when an ICBM strikes the red roof above your head. There are no refunds, according to the volunteer. The guy behind you looks a lot like Rick Santorum.

You’ve just had your 1989 Honda detailed and an ICBM falls right on top of it. Why, oh why, did you move to Hoquiam? Life in Pittsburgh was good, wasn’t it?

I would avoid writers conferences this summer unless they’re in Delaware. It’s a small state, but when you’re in Delaware, you’re not aware of that, you’re not thinking, “man, this is small.” Flee to Delaware, my friends, they don’t even have global warming.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 23rd, 2006 at 9:38 am and is filed under Publishing News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.