Saturday at Eddie’s Book Nook
Paucity Square, Wellington Leg: the newsroom is deserted on this Saturday. Assigments editor Lucretia Borgia has left sticky notes instructing your reporter to bring you the news from the Leg, Goth, and Henley Hornbrook. We begin our coverage at the Harbour Steps where the finest minds have gathered to observe the fog shrouded Isle of Mitch. The Earl has parked his vintage Hispano-Suiza and is strolling toward the water’s edge. His latest novel, Rimbaud, has been delivered to Ueberagent Lydia Careerbreaker, but now he must decide if the Prima Germanica Legion has fled these environs. Admiral Howe has alerted the fleet: to test Roman intentions the Admiral will send them an unsolicited manuscript. They’ve chosen “Her Lyrical Poetry” in the hopes of winning the garrison’s favor.
The Earl is boarding the battle dinghy “Forthright”. Though unscathed in his last encounter with enemy forces he wears the battle residue of his own Turnip Meringue. He’s dressed for combat in yellow pantaloons, rustic leather jerkin, and a Bavarian hat. He carries a surrender demand from the Dowager Princess whose ancestral home is littered with pound cake hurled from a Roman catapult.
The fog is lifting. The band is playing “I Got You Babe” in the hopes of demoralizing the massed legion. Manning the oars is Eddie, of Eddie’s Book Nook. Now that “The Devil Wore Prada” is out Eddie has volunteered to row across the icy waters of Gastropod Alley.
The Earl is halfway across. He loads “Her Lyrical Poetry” into a mortar tube and fires. The manuscript sails across the green waters toward the Isle of Mitch. All eyes are on the distant shore. What will the Romans do?
Organ interlude.
“Incoming!” We flee the Harbour Steps caught in a barrage of rejection slips. “They couldn’t possibly have read the entire manuscript,” Admiral Howe concludes. “I will tell the Princess that this means war.”