David Thayer

In a scandal without precedent the literary blog “One More Bite of the Apple” has been taken over by characters whose existence is in doubt. Page Seven reporter Concetta Comedia della Arta asserts that reliable sources with impeccable literary credentials have confirmed her breaking story. Concetta has devoted weeks to analyzing various posts from the blog while lunching at the fabulous Chez Stadium, her only means of transport an AMC Hornet. “This is not about me,” she said. “This is about a scandalous deception and literary hoax.”

Concetta’s Page Seven Exclusive entitled, “Roman soldiers? I haven’t seen any Roman soldiers,” is a hard hitting look at the supposed invasion of California. “My friends on the coast tell me everything is cool,” Concetta said. “If LA were under seige would Brad and Angelina have returned?”

While it is not clear who Brad and Angelina are, Concetta’s next point is damaging: “The blog is supposed to be about literature, right? That’s like books and boring stuff like that. What does throwing turnips and emperor penguins have to do with books? If the Dowager Princess tried out for the Jets why isn’t she at mini-camp?”

The storm of allegations brought this rebuttal from Wilfredo Tagesblatt Vice President of Development: “i’m sure Concetta has no axe to grind even though she was fired from the Druidical & Literary. That’s the real scandal here.”

Waltraut Frothingmunster, Postmistress of Wellington Leg, and author in her own right, agreed with Mr. Tagesblatt. “These tabloids will stoop to anything to sell papers,” she said. “My front garden is knee deep in Marie Calendar Boston Cream Pies. Perhaps Concetta would like to stop by and help me clean this mess up.”

Ms. Comedia della Arta conceded that she did see an emperor penguin in police custody late yesterday afternoon. “That doesn’t mean that the rest of this stuff is true,” she said. Concetta also admitted that her appearance on Letterman may be on hold. “I’m standing by my story. The blog is out of control.”

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 at 12:44 pm and is filed under Page Seven: Scandals, scandals, and midtown traffic. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.