G-8 Nations Seek Deal with the Dowager Princess
Wellington Leg: After celebrating the grand opening of her disco, the first of its kind to open in thirty years, the Dowager Princess flew to New York for a summit meeting with other heads of state. Her proposal to redraw the map of the world is meeting nominal resistance from established nations. “We’re no longer talking about Bavaria. We’re talking Princessland. We’re talking globally.”
Princessland would include Bavaria, a swath of Southern England ( Hampshire, Devon, and Cornwall) the Longueduc region of France, the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg, parts of upstate New York, all of California, fishing rights in the Sea of Japan, the Kamchatka peninsula, and the former Portuguese colonies of Goa and Macao. Citizens of Princessland are to receive an annual beer stipend, a black and white TV, as well as communal use of a fleet of AMC Pacers. They may elect a Sheriff local to their burghs, wallows, funstiles, and apportionments, who shall bear writs and other instruments of Her Authority, Dignity, or Person. Every citizen of the land shall be welcome to cast suggestions into a wooden recepticle “from time to time.” They are free to erect statues of Herself, go about their business with her grace and allowances, to offer tribute and alimentations without fear of regret.
The big news, though, is her disco called Studio 1066. With polka bands rocking until well after ten pm local residents aren’t sure a disco is right for Wellington Leg. “We were told it would be a water treatment plant,” complained Mrs. Marjorie Morningstar. “That’s why I upgraded the city’s bond rating.” Papparazzi clogged local streets after rumors circulated that the Earl would escort famed economist Paris Milton to the grand opening. Ms. Milton’s treatise and roman a clef “A Force Economy Journey” is circulating among New York editors now. “The buzz is intense…this is gonna blow,” said lobbyist turned agent Puffy. “We’re talking Greenspan money,” he said.