Special to the Druidical & Literary: Newsroom Haunted
Since the Druidical & Literary is an imaginary newspaper we rely heavily on outside sources for the news. Just the other day Chief Correspondent Bernard B. reported this incident: “I was watching Paula Zahn interview an Israeli ambassador. Paula was telling the Israeli guy that he was running out of time when she suddenly morphed into a dead ringer for Jane Fonda and I fell to the floor believing that somehow Barbarella had been spliced into the feed and now Barbarella was telling the Israeli ambasador that she was running out of time and I thought we were cutting to a commercial, but no, we cut to northern Israel where Anderson Cooper was surveying the remnants of a Katyusha rocket before kneeling down to explain how the rocket launcher works…”
Bernard?
“So I think we are running out of time as a kind of post coital desire for a cigarette has inflamed the already combustible and volatile atmosphere here aboard Barbarella’s space craft. There’s a reentry window precisely calibrated for continental drift, wind speed, global warming, hot spots, wormholes, ozone buildup and those hard to reach spots near the dishwasher.”
To summarize, Bernard, are we running out of time?
“I don’t think that anyone anticipated this. Why would Barbarella choose to haunt the newsroom at this juncture? Why now?”
Bernard, let’s sum this up for our viewer(s).
“Thank you for not smoking.”
Good luck on reentry, Bernard.
“She totally real, man, she’s Barbarella.”
Okay, we’re spiking Bernard’s story. Let’s see if Alfonso Soriano has been traded yet. Greta?
“Time is running out for the Washington Nationals. With the trading deadline only days away tension is running high aboard Barbarella’s space ship…”
Let’s cut Greta off right there. Roy, get under the hood and check that RSS feed. I think a rival blog is having some fun with us here. Roy?