The Wind at her Back Mrs. Frothingmunster Resigns
Dateline Wellington Leg: Waltraut Frothingmunster, winner of this year’s Literary Faire, abruptly resigned her position as Postmistress, according to unnamed sources concealed in the ferns near Postal Headquarters. Speculation is rife that Mrs. F, with her prize money, and signed copy of VOLTAIRE’S MIASMA, may be planning a second career, something far more tawdry than supervising the flow of query letters and postcards of regret that ebb and flow from towne.
DCI Borchardt, interviewed as he mailed several queries ( simultaneous queries) observed that “Waltraut has the ways and means to pursue her lifelong ambition…” Reading other people’s queries has lost its magic speculated Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe. “Her behavior is outrageous.”
Former D&L intern Heather DeMedici has been appointed by the Postal Authority on an interim basis. “She has yet to learn the basics of postal etiquette,” said an unnamed official. Ms. DeMedici was cited for failing to close her window when the line got long, a frequent issue with newer staff. “There is always an inflection point when taking a sudden break can infuriate the maximum number of customers,” a postal supervisor remarked. “She’ll be asked to read BLINK to develop that instinct for the moment.”
Query letters are piling up according to Wilfredo Tagesblatt VP of Development. “We receive hundreds every week.” His personalized stamp “je regret” has proven a popular novelty item. Proceeds from the sale of the stamps will go toward the purchase of a new BMW he said. “I’m ashamed to park in my designated spot,” he added. His lime green AMC Hornet was stolen last week, probably by Roman soldiers. “They can’t even drive,” DCI Borchardt noted. “This is especially cruel.”