Hole in Wall Carefully Examined
HRH J. Mansfield Prison: Here on the outskirts of Wellington Leg a team of forensic experts is examining the “hole in the wall” as it is called, the scene of The Earl’s daring predawn escape from the medieval fog shrouded edifice. Wellington Leg and Carthago Nova CSI members used lasers to outline the breach. Oddly enough, when viewed through special goggles, the gap in the prison’s outer wall resembles the Chrysler Building. “There is an Art Deco sensibility at work,” warned Senior CSI Sid Viscous. “People are not shaped like the Chrysler Building.” To demonstrate his theory Doctor Viscous used a cardboard replica of the Chrysler Building and passersby on Threadneedle Alley were asked to stand next to the replica while being sprayed with orange laminate. “None of the orange people could pass for a famous building,” concluded DCI Borchardt. The experiment was disturbed by the passing of several dozen hogs who “scurried through towne as though late for work.” Borchardt, whose crime novel WELLINGTON LEG CONFIDENTIAL is not available in stores, creating a soupcon of residual bitterness many feel is affecting his work, cautioned that, “citizens should be alert for anyone wearing prison garb, chains, iron restraints or go-go boots.” It should be noted that the wearing of Go-Go Boots has been illegal in the Leg since the debut of “Monday Afternoon Fever” some years ago.
D&L reporter Mandy Rice-Davies, imbedded with the forensics team, believes that the CSI team is heading down a blind alley. “The hole in the wall resembles a map of Denmark,” she said. CSI Polonius, slightly injured by a knife through a curtain, offered a darker view of the proceedings. “We found the word “gertrude’ carved into the cell wall that previously did contain The Earl.”
Indeed, a tattered copy of Aristotle’s POETICS was recovered from the cell. CSI Fortinbras suggested in an aside that the earl is mastering unity of plot. “His escape suggests a dawning in the east…the first break of light through the big hole in the wall.”
Citizens painted orange may file a claim with the city.