New Agency Will Regulate Good Taste
Dateline: Foggy Bottom. Hizzoner Jimmy Stones has appointed Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, heiress and poet, to chair the newly formed Wellington Leg Literary Taste Society. The Society will police the literary tastes of the populace at the grass roots level where Audit Teams will be dispatched to the homes of those citizens suspected of writing. Chalfont-Smythe will serve as Arbiter and report to former IRS Administrator and Bon Vivant, Graf von Sitzbaedchen. “We will emulate various tax authorities and regulatory agencies such as the SEC,” the graf said in a prepared statement. “Our enforcement division will conduct raids on various critique groups and book clubs in effort to elevate readers’ consumption.” Heir to the Sitz bath fortune, the graf has dedicated much of his adult life to the eradication of poor taste.
Eddy of Eddy’s Book Nook, Wellington Leg’s preeminent indy bookstore, said he welcomes the scrutiny of the new agency. He has no plans, however, to withdraw his forty foot cardboard likeness of Dame Pamela Anderson from the roof of his establishment. His “Babes of Baywatch Reading Series” has been a big hit. “We’re getting a lot of surfers who want to read a book,” he said. Eddy has been experimenting with three page novels that feature plenty of pictures. “Marge Tolliver writes them during her coffee break,” Eddy said.
Indeed Marge was taken into custody in a dawn raid on her Italianate Revival Townhome constructed by Hizzoner’s brother-in-law, Vasco de Gama. Marge is detained at HRH J Mansfield Prison whose outer walls have been repaired. Faithful readers may recall that the prison sustained heavy damage during the earl’s “Big Bust Out” an event sponsored by Big Tobacco. “Marge is behind locked doors,” reported Mrs. Chalfont-Smythe, author of Her Lyrical Poetry. “Let this be a lesson to us all.”