David Thayer

Mists of Mansfield: I think I’ve established a means of communicating with Marge. She is being held in the Artists Wing while I’m among the Commercial Representatives. Needless to say I had hoped to be classified as an artist; these decisions are so arbitrary. At any rate I’ve dug a trench with my spoon and fashioned an RSS feed from old shoelaces. The feed goes directly down the hall to the junction with the Great Flu. Hot air rises, of course, lifting all boats in this case. The authorities have no idea that a real time web log may be fashioned out of the discards of daily life; fortunately I took a class in designing RSS feeds from simple household materials.

Rather than a photo I’ve commissioned a Portrait ( Portrait of the Commercial Representative). Prior to my escape I had the presence of mind to purchase vast quantities of Silly Putty at the HRH J Mansfield Prison Store. The guards believe that I’m sculpting a likeness of Hizzoner when in fact I’m rebuilding the outer wall with the stuff. When the time comes I shall burst through the wall onto Threadneedle Alley. The major difficulty I foresee is the clanking sound I make whenever I hurry. Thus my encounter with Mister Macaroni and his accursed cellular phone which enabled him to make a call even though he wasn’t at home.

My portrait consists of two profile pieces and one face on, a tryptych I suppose. Joey “Two Hands” Vermeer is doing the work. Joey is serving time in the debtor section of this edifice. We’re thinking of having him illustrate this blog with a brooding depiction of your reporter or an exterior daytime montage of the prison. Ah wait, a note from Marge: Blog on, she writes. What a trouper.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, August 30th, 2006 at 5:51 am and is filed under The Earl's Own Advice and Beauty Tips. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.