Wellington Leg News Roundup
Indictment avoided in road paving scandal: H. Bosch reporting: Hizzoner and five city officials were cleared in the road paving scandal that rocked the Leg in June. Judge Hamilcar Frist dismissed the charges against the mayor after learning that Jimmy Stones was a George Pelecanos fan. Judge Frist ordered the courthouse band to play LITTLE RED ROOSTER despite their unfamiliarity with the tune. His DANCE PARTY program on the WL Network was renewed despite apathetic ratings. Hizzoner celebrated with cheese balls and fifty dollar bills at a watering hole near the courthouse.
Earl Update: Defense Attorney Ethelred the Unready reports that the Snickers bar, the State’s primary evidence against the earl, has melted. “I blame global warming,” said a spokeperson for the Prosecutrix. An artifical Butterfingers has been flown in from the Capitol and will be presented in court in lieu of the Snickers. “The Earl is guilty,” said Wilfredo Tagesblatt, VP of Development. “Smuggling candy into a multiplex threatens the future of filmmaking,” he added.
Indeed there is talk of turning the Earl’s forthcoming trial into a musical. “We’re taking meetings,” Mr. Tagesblatt assured reporters. Auditions will be held in Mad Hatter Park from dusk until dawn. The film’s working title is BEING WILFEDO TAGESBLATT. Several dozen orange people will form the Greek Chorus; observers believe this is an effort to avoid litigation after the unfortunate CSI incident in Threadneedle Alley. Superstar and Wellington Leg resident Ted Cruise knows someone who has glanced at the script. “We love it,” Ted said.