Earls Just Want to Have Fun
Wellington Leg: A hubbub has arisen over the Earl’s controversial Author Portrait. Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, heiress to the Smythe Oven fortune, wrote in her OpEd column that, “The Earl’s book contract was granted on the basis of his glamorous author portrait. Otherwise his ridiculous potboiler, Rimbaud, would never have been accepted.” The portrait depicts The Earl in Snooker togs gazing in the direction of Utrecht, a city in Holland. The portrait currently hangs in the waiting room at HRH J Mansfield Prison on Threadneedle Alley. There are two versions of the portrait: one captures the afternoon light, such as it is, while the second reveals the presence of a Jack Russell Terrier whose name, oddly enough, is Jack Russell. “This may be a case of life imitating art,” said DCI Borchardt. Imitating art is forbidden within Wellington Leg city limits.
In a related development Marge, the afternoon cashier, has made bail. The rumored appearance of Michael Chabon at Eddie’s Book Nook was enough to generate “extra cash flow” according to Bailiff Jack Russell. Marge, inventor of the graphic novel, offered a four page illustrated novelette in lieu of cash. She was escorted from Central Booking by literary agent Lydia Careerbreaker. Lydia’s essay on the “midlist” was read aloud by the Goth Boys Chorale. Marge has signed a seven book deal with Wellington Leg Premier Publishers, a division of Aston-Martin Ltd. “I can write seven books in about a week,” Marge estimated. “Unless my brother calls.”