Literary Agents Flee the Leg
Wellington Leg: Here in the Greta Garbo Room of the Hotel Faz tables are arranged to allow literary agents to hear pitches at the Tenth Annual Wellington Leg Writers Conference. It was here yesterday afternoon that The Earl swung from a chandelier in the direction of Ueberagent Angelina Scones, considered to be the most powerful agent in the Publishing World. Ms. Scones, famous for her list, was listening to DCI Borchardt as he droned through the plot summary of WELLINGTON LEG CONFIDENTIAL. Borchardt had reached the point in his narrative where he scales the Tower to rescue Faire Olive utilizing her golden locks as an impromptu ladder: “It’s Rapunzel meets the Usual Suspects” said Borchardt. “Ms. Scones appeared mesmerized.”
The Earl was accompanied by Sheriffs and Bailiffs from HRH J Mansfield Prison. Facing charges of throwing a turnip at a Roman sentry, The Earl purchased “a pitch session” with Ms. Scones. Clutching the entire manuscript of Rimbaud he raced into the ballroom, climbed onto a vacant table and seized hold of the chandelier. “He sailed across the ballroom,” reported Heather DeMedici whose roman a clef about her days as an intern at the Druidical & Literary is raising eyebrows in towne. “He showed remarkable quickness,” said a scout. “Great lateral speed.”
Dozens of agents streamed out of the Greta Garbo Room until order was restored. Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe, chair of the Organizing Committee, said that pitch sessions would resume this morning. Both The Earl and the offending chandelier have been removed. On a happier note Ms. Scones requested the opening two paragraphs of Borchardt’s novel. He plans to include glossy photos depicting his triumphant role as Lysander in last year’s Shakespeare in the Costco Parking Lot production. “The arrow through my head is real,” he added. “It’s not a stage prop.”