Earl’s Policy Cancelled
The Governors of the Bank of England have revoked the Writers Blocke Insurance written on behalf of the Earl. Meeting in a special session they expressed the fear that that the policy would encourage the Earl to “engulf us all in a blizzard of prose.” The Policy, with its daring pink cover, was taken by messenger to the Olde Room on Lime Street and hacked into tiny pieces. “We’ll make a stew out of some of it,” said Hatchet Man Clive. A sous chef at a nearby club, Clive has been remaindering policies for over a decade.
Meanwhile The Underhand Onion Bowling Association of Wellington Leg will exclude the Earl from this year’s festivities. Chair Pat Conroy said in a lengthy aside that while “the earl’s prowess is formidable, his prison garb may send the wrong message to young people who might be interested in onion bowling.” In a related move the Overhand Onion Bowling League has disbanded. “The art of throwing an onion is a lost one,” said Eddie of Eddie’s Book Nook. “Besides, Baywatch is on.”
The Dowager Princess, whose NFL Blog took the Leg by storm, fell asleep during Sunday Night Football. Citizens are anticipating new edicts and fiats from the Princess. Last year she banned the Statue of Liberty play from pick up games in Mad Hatter Park. DCI Borchardt warned that the ban will be strictly enforced. “A word to the wise,” he said.