Query Letters in Alternative Media
Hello, Prudentia here, blogging from the Warhol Room of the Hotel Faz. I’ve assembled a small collection of query letters, some my own creation, for display here at the recently renovated Faz. You may have read the earl’s poem Trouble at the Hotel Faz published some years ago by a defunct periodical. ( The italics are mine.) One does wonder how anyone could publish the earl’s mad ravings while ignoring the charm of my own. In any case the subject is query letters in alternative media: I hope you’re as enthralled as I with the concept.
The Carved Tablet Query: I used a solid slab of limestone to create this query and a Dewalt hand held drill ( I hope that’s not considered “product placement.” You know my feelings on that score.) Caution: return postage may be prohibitive! Be sure to use a tracking number when mailing stone tablets. It lends the query a certain gravitas.
Adaptation of The Scream: With all the recent interest in Munch, I thought this was a natural for securing an agent’s attention. My handsome calligraphy is confined to the edges of the original painting…great fun!
Antiquing Your Query: go ahead and write your query in the usual manner. Sprinkle the letter with concrete dust before applying a sledgehammer; don’t be afraid to whack away! One of my neighbors telephoned the police while observing me, so be sure you have plenty of outdoor space before attempting this. A tip for novices: a sign that reads “I’m querying” may assuage the fears of Nosey Parkers.
The Earl is constructing a query out of Silly Putty. It’s yet another example of why I should be in charge of this blog. TTFN!