Serendipity Sells Books: So Shall We
Lars Kierkegaard, Publicist of Gloom, Volvo master mechanic, has given up trying to promote books. His startling decision is outlined in an essay entitled: It’s Not Raining, But it Will Be wherein Lars notes the absence of moving parts in modern literature: “When novels are brought in for service we often cannot identify what is wrong,” he lamented. “The owner leaves the shop disappointed.”
Lars and his team at Ballard Volvo have diagnostic equipment geared for all sorts of popular fiction. “I have factory specs for chick lit, romantic fantasy, cozy crime, hardboiled, fantasy, and books Rick Moody will nominate for awards,” Lars said. “All of my technicians are certified by the International Critics and Mechanics Association,” he added.
Lars pointed to his largest bay devoted to variations on the theme: “Ja, here is where we focus on the derivative stuff; very difficult to repair.” A stretch of sunny weather has complicated matters for everyone in Ballard. “It’s October, is it not?”
A wave of crime novels from Scandinavia has cheered Lars. “Winter in Sweden…murder in Norway. This is the stuff we need or else we’re all living in California.” Lars is reconditioning his 1982 Volvo 240D. “Head gaskets,” he said. “Always head gaskets.”