Defying All Efforts Blog Remains Out of Control
Wellington Leg, the 12th Ultimo: fearing scandal the cabal controlling this blog have assembled in a remote hunting lodge near the mountain village of Appalachia in the hopes of divvying up the media empire’s vast riches. Local sheriff Rico Fermi shared this insight from a duck blind a quarter mile from the lodge: “The first thing I noticed was all the limos. We only have one limo in town and it’s a Plymouth station wagon.”
The Plymouth has a flat tire according to Mechanic Mike who didn’t want to reveal his real name or Amazon Ranking. “A fat guy in a white shirt stopped for gas. He asked if I’d seen Paris Hilton. I’m like, what? Is she missing?”
Rumors to the contrary notwithstanding the gathering at the lodge includes the Boys from Philly, the Boys from Jersey, forty Lincoln Towncars and two guys from Cleveland. Some of them wore teeshirts that read “Blogger” and were observed playing bocce.
DCI Borchardt and the Flying Squad are standing by. Their late model Dodge Charger is in the shop so they may have to run to the lodge should the need arise. “I’m really backed up,” Mike the Mechanic said. “I hope Fat Joey shows up tomorrow. It’s like everybody in town is missing.”
Appalachia’s population is 456. In the summer that number rises to 457 for the Annual Cheese Hunt during which residents hide things from one another. Drew Bledsoe reporting.