People’s Choice: Abalone
If one metric for blogging success is the amount of Romanian spam received then this blog is a “runaway train with the dead man switch disabled” ( Wellington Leg After Dark). The post with the most from the archives is Mystery Solved: The Earl Fell Victim to an Abalone Attack. Spammers from around the globe have focused their attention on the aftermath of the Earl’s ill-advised surfing adventure off Santa Cruz. Faithful readers will recall that the earl fended off a Great Red, the most feared abalone. Red Abalone often reach a circumference of ten inches; if one calculates the distortion salt water provides, factors in the curve of the world, allows for global warming and the side-effects of cheap sunglasses, it’s easy to see why a Great Red in the wild would be really scary.
Skeptics thought the abalone incident was a “cheap publicity stunt” ( Wellington Leg Before Dark). If that was the case why are spammers from Western Australia, the Outer Hebrides, and Alberta so convinced otherwise? Professor Moriarity, an expert in Inadvertant Communication observed, “I think it’s obvious that the earl’s adventures have leap-frogged its intended audience to reach a dedicated cadre of Google bots in search of freedom of choice.”
Prudentia Chalfont-Smythe ( Her Lyrical Poetry) believes that under her stewardship One More Bite of the Apple would achieve a measure of respectability heretofore denied: “I think this abalone nonsense has kept us out of the New York Times.” Repeated calls to the Gray Lady went unanswered she said.
Prudentia will traveling this week, she goes on to say, which means the blog will lie fallow until she returns. The rest of the staff will be composing a mission statement to be presented to Management on All Hollows Eve. The dowager princess likes the Tigers, but that may be a ploy to curry favor with Detroit PD. She does hope her memoir will be selected by Starbucks although there are some racy bits from her days as an LA real estate developer. Century City, C’est Moi is a no holds barred if substantially false account of her adventures as a studio chief.
October 25th, 2006 at 12:57 pm
This just in from an article on antioxidant effects of tea (no, I’m not making this up) in the American Journal of Chemical Nutrition :
“D-glucuronidase type X-A from Escherichia coli, arylsulfatase type VIII from abalone entrails, manganese dioxide, and 6-hydroxy-2,5,7,8-tetramethylchroman-2-carboxylic acid were purchased
from Sigma-Aldrich (St Louis).”
Abalone entrails? Tea experiments? Hmmm. I think your stuff is starting to spill over into the scientific community…