David Thayer

Dateline: Wellington Leg. A writers conference at the Hotel Faz was interrupted this morning when the Earl of Watership Down tunneled to freedom, emerging between tables set aside for “agent pitches.” The Earl was wrestled to the ground by alert volunteers who demanded to see his appointment card. When all he could produce was a terra cotta reproduction of Winged Victory, he was escorted from the Hoffa Ballroom by members of the rock band, Golden Earring.

Though covered with dust the Earl was able to dispense words of encouragement despite a deafening live rendition of Twilight Zone. As to his means of escape, he described the construction of a mile long shield tunnel beneath the foaming froth of Gastropod Alley using only a tablespoon and Martha Stewart’s Big Cat tunnel boring appliance. The result is a clean and friendly environment for any get together of a subterranean nature.

After subsisting for weeks on abalone entrails and green tea, the earl reports he’s ready to plunge into the icy waters of local politics and endorse Metroplex Manager Ed Lebowsky for Mayor of Goth. Lebowsky is running on a reform platform, promising to accept checks as well as cash if he’s elected. Ed says the future of film making may hinge of the election: “My opponent doesn’t even have a manager,” he said.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 3rd, 2006 at 2:26 pm and is filed under Ripped from Headlines Still Oozing Ink. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.