Exit polls revealed that residents of Wellington Leg enjoy feudalism and have embraced the Dowager Princess despite her alleged attempts to rig last season’s Super Bowl. The scandal heightened after she was ejected from the New York Jets training camp for taunting. The Princess dissolved the People’s Assembly and declared a general amnesty after being swept to electoral triumph over the Whigs who favored a Gershwin tune and New York in June. The glitterati gathered at a post-election Polka Party believed to be one of the largest assemblages in the history of Wellington Leg.
The Big Winner? Pundits point to The Earl who will be released from HRH J Mansfield Prison before it goes condo. “He’s free to pursue a literary career that may well skyrocket now that his epic poem Jowl is complete,” said an unnamed source who may have been making things up.
DCI Borchardt reported the only disruption to Election Night was a cavalry charge by the Decima Augusta Legion near Goth. His personal Crown Victoria suffered numerous javelin strikes and four flat tires. The Roman artillery, catapults, launched Abalone entrails and green tea at the defenders who struck back with stale Halloween candy and a Britney Spears music video. Roman troops broke ranks during the video because they think Ms. Spears is the goddess Minerva. “It’s almost too easy,” Borchardt said.
An AMC Pacer fell to earth near Hizzoner’s Family Gambling Den on Greasemypalm Strasse downtown. No one was injured but receipts suffered after the crash. “The Pacer experienced orbit decay,” noted Professor Moriarity. “And I had Bingo,” he added.