CSI Wellington Leg
The Thanksgiving Day Parade in downtown Wellington Leg featured the actual turnip used to thwart the Roman invasion and drive them to winter quarters. The turnip was carried aboard the float “If I Did It” designed by Bob of Bob’s Auto in Henley Hornbrook. Shakespearean actor Reginald Moss portrayed The Earl on his daring journey across Gastropod Alley. The actor “confesses” to throwing the turnip at a Roman sentry. Judge Hamilcar Frist, who presided at the earl’s trial, ordered the turnip seized by members of the Flying Squad.
CSI was summoned to dust the turnip. Finger print analysis revealed that Judge Frist had gone dancing the previous evening, read Thomas Pynchon’s latest novel, and still believed in Santa Claus. Citizens were once again sprayed with orange laminate and several tree limbs were confiscated and taken to the lab. Bob’s float was seized during the marching band’s rendition of “My Sharona.”
The Earl, who survived a battle with a Great Red, the largest of all abalone, waved to the crowd. His steed, The Lebowsky, is a mechanical horse that graces the entrance to the Metroplex in the Prince of Denmark Shopping Center. The Earl threw papier mache turnips to the crowd until DCI Borchardt diverted the parade along Virginia Woolf Place. High winds were blamed for the change in plans.
The “If I Did It” float will be crushed into a million little pieces according to CSI Catharine of Aragon. Anyone sprayed with orange laminate may file a complaint with the City of Wellington Leg, the Borough of Goth, or drop a line to Hizzoner, care of Wilfredo Tagesblatt, VP of Development. Lucky winners will appear on the reality TV show “When People Are Orange” on the Flox Network.