The Earl Develops Bluetube Technology
Wellington Leg: In a secret laboratory near his ancestral estate The Earl of Watership Down sucessfully mixed a beaker of You Tube with Blue Tooth paste to create “Blue Tube” a technology designed to enhance the princess style telephone. “At the moment, due to imperial fiat, even the Wellington Police use princess phones,” a spokesperson said. The Dowager Princess owns the telephone concession for the quad cities.
In a demonstration of the technology the Earl stands atop the twelve foot diving board at the Pool in Mad Hatter Park. “Any sort of tube may be used,” explained Professor Moriarity. “The Earl is wearing an inner tube with a satellite uplink. Before he plunges into the pool he will send a “text message” to DCI Borchardt. Borchardt will receive the message on his princess decoder-reader with bluetube enhanced nano utilities.”
Criminals frequently mock Wellington Leg police officers for their pink phones. “They’re laughing now but wait until they receive a nano blast of blue tube,” warned Borchardt. “We’ll see who laughs last.”
“The earl is ariborne, ladies and gentlemen, you see how he rotates in mid-air to pick up the signal from the Wellington Leg Spy Satellite…is there a signal? Oh no he’s belly flopping. I can report an enormous splash! Let’s see what Borchardt’s readout says.”
“Pink is the new black?” Isn’t that a quote from a Jim Fusilli novel? “I’m crestfallen,” reports Borchardt.
“There goes the spy satellite, ladies and gentlemen. The Earl is being lifted out of the pool by a mobile crane. I fear the days of telephone monopoly may not be over for the quad cities.” An outraged Geraldo reporting.