David Thayer

Pink Floyds cautionary words certainly apply to writers. Not only to crime fiction writers, but literary, romance, speculative, genre benders, graphic novelists and poets. In ONE GOOD TURN Kate Atkinson arms her villain with a baseball bat. When I read the passage I was thinking two things: Why does a Scottish guy have a baseball bat handy? Does he choke up or swing away? Another character counter-attacks with a briefcase: I’m hoping it wasn’t one of those soft leather things, but a rugged briefcase that has flown United many times and fears nothing.

Death by Steinway: Here’s a scene that illustrates the problem: “She was trapped, the Cuisinart defense a failure. Megan grabbed the Steinway Baby Grand. Lifting it high overhead, she rushed Herbert whose suit of armor was a liability now. He staggered toward the balcony with sweeping views of New Jersey. Herbert spotted the thirty caliber machine gun mounted near the ficus tree…if only he wasn’t wearing armor.”

Forensic analysis: Megan’s former job as a piano mover came in handy. Herbert had gone to a jousting tournament before his cell phone rang. A platoon of Marines had encamped on the balcony, but forgot their machine gun before they rapelled down the building. A Steinway Baby Grand developes a ballistic signature unlike those of other pianos. This is our murder weapon people.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 3rd, 2006 at 8:49 am and is filed under Working Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.