Gone in Sixty Minutes
A real time drama unfolding in BLOGOVISION:
The Set-up: Vanity publishers Boris and Natasha have a new scheme to defraud authors. With their infomercial rolling and hearts and minds up for grabs, they’re set for the biggest heist in history: total control of the digi-bot who ranks Google pages.
Int. Day. The earl’s tepidarium: After getting wind of the plot, the earl dons his ceremonial sword, jodhpurs, and summons the household. There is a delay while the Jane Fonda workout tape rewinds.
Ext. Day: Boris and Natasha are laughing, counting checks from unsuspecting authors. The Digi-bot disables a John Deere tractor using its fingers as tools.
Ext. Night: The earl hits the streets in a Ferrari Daytona. As he floors it, he wishs he remembered to reset the digital clock. Uncertain of the time space continuum, he scans the AM dial for real time information. Ever cautious, he brakes for a yellow light.
Ext. Night: Convenience store parking lot: Boris meets with buyer. Natasha picks up suitcase full of cash. Boris buys a pack of certs. The earl careens into the parking lot, the Ferrari’s high pitched whine warning Natasha not to listen to side B of Dark Side of the Moon: there simply isn’t time.
Int. Night: The Leonid Breshnev Quintet unleash a barrage from their violin cases: in slow motion the earl dives through the window, jostling a beef jerky display. Members of the politburo dive for cover.
Ext. Night: Boris shakes his fist at the earl. The Digi-Bot ranks a bottle of Yoo-hoo ahead of the sugar-free gum, but then changes its mind. Both items are useful but how? And what would a hierarchal algorithm accomplish anyway?
Ext. Night. Natasha will listen to Dark Side of the Moon because the earl, her nemesis, is trapped in slow motion. Somehow he disarms all the Breshnevs while remaining airborne. He’s gone in Sixty Minutes.
Int. Day. Charlie thanks the earl while patting the digi-bot on the head. Boris, on speaker phone, vows revenge.
Ext. Day. The earl wins the Daytona 500. Natasha waves the checkered flag, vowing in semaphore to ditch Boris and get a part time job.