Music Download Creates Pothole
Wellington Leg: Poet Laureate Johnny Adonis is in custody today on a charge of piracy. Mr. Adonis downloaded several songs from the Golden Oldies collection orbiting high over towne; his primitive Oom-pod proved ineffectual, according to police sources. “The songs hurtled through cyber-space,” DCI Borchardt reported. “They careened into towne striking the Oom-pod a glancing blow before blasting a hole in the pavement.”
Boris of the popular Borscht in Gemini restaurant was reading an e-book when the download struck the earth. “Holy smokes I’m thinking a meteor shower,” he said. “Now I’m seeing smoking hole where once was street.”
City crews arrived with shovels to lean on while Professor Moriarity calibrated and triangulated before he postulated, “From the dimension of the impact I’m thinking this is from the Leslie Gore Era. ”
“If citizens of Wellington Leg wish to hear music, they can simply go to the Bandstand on Great Jones Street,” said a spokesperson for Hizzoner. The mayor, the first public official to honor credit cards, added that “we can’t have things whizzing around that create a danger to honest folk.”
A handful of stock analysts wondered if this would lead to a Frisbee ban. “The poet laureate has spoiled things for everyone.”
Rumors of free borscht incited a torch lit parade that fizzled quickly. The price of beets skyrocketed on the Piltdown Exchange but things were quiet in afternoon trading. “Beets are the new soybean,” said one trader. “This is the ground floor.”