Spy Satellite in Fender Bender
<p> Wellington Leg, The Minories: On the very day that a three-toed sloth went missing from the zoo Ministry officials report that the Wellington Leg Spy Satellite was involved in a minor traffic accident. According to eye-witnesses the satellite was waiting for the light to change on Trump Boulevard when it was struck from behind by a second driver.
<p> CSI Caruso arrived on scene and cordoned off a 12 square block including the Historic Rotunda and Deflecting Pond. Paint chip analysis revealed that the driver of the second car “Prefers literary fiction, lite beer, roots for the New York Jets, and has only three toes.”
<p> DCI Borchardt, fresh from query writing class, admitted that “the focus of our inquiry is the escaped sloth. It’s extremely difficult for a three toed sloth to operate a motor vehicle, much less a stick shift.” That the sloth may have been using a “cellular telephone” shortly before impact is a matter of rank speculation.
<p> The satellite was towed to Ballard Auto Body and Publicity where Spin Doctor Miles Canopy had this to say: “We cannot rush to judgment. The satellite is resting comfortably in Bay 3 where our top publicist is preparing a written estimate. The people of Wellington Leg deserve an answer and we have answers in stock, thank goodness.”
<p> Earl Update: his dinghy may have entered Manila Bay under the cover of darkness. Satellite photos are inconclusive, but do reveal a three-toed sloth manning the helm. Geraldo reporting by satellite phone.