David Thayer

Wellington Leg: From the files of the Wellingtonienne: Hi, it’s me, and wow we have a lot of ground to cover before deadline. I’m new to Wellington Leg and bought one of those condos at HRH J Mansfield Prison. I’m not sure the conversion is really finished cuz of all the barbed wire and stuff. Plus we all have to eat together in a big room that’s totally drafty and the food sucks. Anyhoo…

I’m profiling DCI Borchardt for WELLINGTON LEG CONFIDENTIAL the TV show. I asked to do a ride along, and he said yes! His police car is an AMC Pacer with a cop suspension; we put my name in the computer and accidentally sent the Flying Squad over to my place. Oops!

Then we went to the location shooting of THE EARL’S BEHEADING and talked to Wilfredo Tagesblatt, VP of Development. They dropped the guillotine on a bowling ball that was supposed to roll into a wicker basket the varsity football team made themselves ( so cool) but the bowling ball broke the basket and rolled down hill where it knocked over a cosmonaut. His name is Boris and I’m like, dude, you read Cosmo?

Uh oh, here comes Mr. Castinstone. I’m not supposed to blog at the office except on Sunday when the office is closed or late at night when those guys buff the floor. I might have to go to Belarus on an assignment. Wish me luck, WTN.

Wellington Leg: Mere days after announcing the arrival of the Wellingtonienne, we’re proud to say that the Agony Column is back by popular demand. The Druidical & Literary reminds everyone of our slogan, We Dish, They Wish. Much as we desired to provide serious news for serious readers ( our former slogan) the D&L and this blog will now feature “first person” and amped up prose more fitting to our new tabloid sensibility.  Gutsy, gritty, even greasy and grimy, lurid, florid, triffid, not very succinct but certainly hip, sexy, and now. We’re dropping golf coverage altogether. Irish lace competition? Not in this rag.

Regular readers remember the Agony Column when the earl answered letters from readers offering sound advice in an unsound manner. Quite frankly, and in all candor, some of those letters were written by paid staff and bitter interns. Much of the advice was directed at writers seeking information about publishing, agents, real time tips flowing from the oracle of Wellington Leg, the Earl of Watership Down. However since his literary debut VOLTAIRE’S MIASMA, mocked by Le Soir as “Unreadable!” the unfortunate affair of the corpseless head of a German tourist spiked on his gatepost, the earl feels that following his advice may be hazardous. With the Volvo in the shop and so many Commitments, along with his impending beheading at the Tower, he is passing the torch to the Wellingtonienne to guide you through the Labyrynth modern publishing has become.

From the Wellingtonienne: Word in the newsroom is I may be one of Victor Hugo’s descendants, to which I say, that’s totally cool. That guy could write a musical.