Something of a Highlight Reel
From the Wellington Leg Archives: We’ve reproduced remarks attributed to an archivist whose apartment became a prison then a condo and then a co-op before reprivatizing into a prison, who, by city ordnance, must remain anonymous. His blog was unearthed by archaelogists who weren’t looking for blogs at all but rather in an attempt to understand life in the Old City at the turn of the century uncovered a mural etched in the dank clay beneath the substrata depicting a pre-volcanic event believed to be associated with “writing.”
“gathering my wits I seize control of this blog in an attempt to create a human highlight reel out of which will come a clarity once thought so elusive as to be unobtainable. armed with that clarity I will convey what should have been said ages ago before the desire to blog first stirred, before cassius walmartus boxed us in, before my trivial concerns, condo, co-op, bubble, high velocity spatter first manifest…”
We do know this much: shortly before the meteor struck, Wellington Leg was ruled by Cassius W. Many of his Parking Regulations and Decrees survived the impact and subsequent confusion. “He was a human highlight reel,” noted Historian Bron Palaver. “We believe the author of the blog may have harbored a seditious inclination toward the Status Quo, born of an inability to play the bounce in Wellington Leg’s always frothy literary wars.”
Perhaps we’ll never know. The reign of Cassius W. ended abruptly in AD 2007 when a fishmonger hurled a salmon against the windshield of the emperor’s late model Volkswagen. Whether by accident or design this “fender bender” preceded a meteor strike which in turn caused Mount Veneer to bury the towne in magma. Perhaps it explains why both blogging and salmon hurling remain forbidden to this day long after the Restoration.
We hoped you’ve enjoyed this historical interlude from the Wellington Leg Archives. Tomorrow we’ll examine “likely causes of the Second Punic War” Will Hannibal Barca sack and burn Barcelona? Big H is back and he’s blogging about it. It’s a Wellington Leg exclusive.