David Thayer

Wellington Leg: Trading in the literary futures pit was suspended Friday morning after exchange president Don “Big Don” Quixote got into a fist fight with Ms. Montana Wildhack of the Vonnegut Canon. The prolonged battle raged unabated after Don criticised Ms. Wildhack for promoting cosmetic surgery on other planets.

Shares of Titan Cranial Airlines battled headwinds developing around a triple witching scenario blamed on a sudden drop in Knights Templar Holdings GMBH. Several traders reported armed intruders near the Political Pit, a rumor exacerbated by unnamed individuals riding armored horses. Trading resumed after Mall Security Director Phineas T. Bluster sounded the magic horn. Ms. Wildhack was cited for disturbing the peace and wearing ice skates on the exchange floor.

A contingent of ghost writers was escorted from the gallery after they created a clamor over wage scales and author recognition.

Sir Virgil Dante-Fogg, general manager of the Literary Hedge Fund, spoke at a luncheon where he assured an audience of investors that literature has a glorious future when hedged by yen borrowings, lean hog futures and a basket of Euro denominated Collateralized Debt Obligations. His vision of selling books one word at a time is catching on among ad execs who clamored for the fourth word of Sir Virgil’s Investing in the….

It is believed that the fourth word may be “Argonauts” although many argue that it makes no sense. Those who believe they know the fourth word are invited to submit their ideas care of this web log.

Bananas. Artichokes. Ferrellon Islands are incorrect.

What is the fourth word?

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