David Thayer

The existential crisis continues! A story about a woman attempting to rob a bank from the rear of a hired limousine only serves to accerbate an already difficult climate that has greatly affected plot devices in crime fiction. I know what you’re thinking: this probably happened in Florida or New Jersey if not Belarus. Let’s deconstruct the scenario.

It was a hired limo. The driver didn’t know she was robbing a bank. The fact of the matter is her take amounted to nothing. She might’ve been better off using the ATM. Fantasy authors might linger on the machine: The ATM and the Limo begin a conversation about the woman in the back seat. Maybe they do a background check.

The Note: Ever since Woody Allen tried to rob a bank by presenting a note in TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN the flaws of this approach have been obvious. Should the note be typed or handwritten? Proof read for errors? By whom?

Writers of international intrigue are well aware that Diplomatic Notes are passed from country to country when the teacher isn’t looking. Thus the United States might drop a note to Scotland: what r u doing after school?

If you’re comfortable writing notes in a moving car, you might try a foreign language note to baffle the teller. That way if the heist heads south for any reason ( your limo driver gets impatient, starts blowing the horn) you may have plausible deniability. Achtung! is always good since the teller may have seen Hogan’s Heroes in syndication.

Hiring the limo requires a certain amount of tradecraft. If you use your real name to rent the car, the cops will have a handy short cut to your door. Try wearing a Prom Dress for several weeks prior to signing the rental agreement. It’s an alibi. If you’re a middle-aged man you may want to have an explanation prepared for those nosey detectives. Write it down and hand them a note from your doctor. “Antoine must wear a prom dress so he won’t go to the track and blow all his money.” Dr. Strangelove.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 17th, 2007 at 8:49 am and is filed under Crime Fiction. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.