David Thayer

I’m disappointed Steve Clackson has departed the blogosphere. A visit to Sandstorm revealed a farewell message and the takedown of his site. Steve has has enough rejection; he’s moving on to a different phase of life. I can’t help but think there’s a great deal of common sense in his decision to forego the head banging summed up in the lyrical fragment, sorry, not for us.

Steve is an honorary citizen of Wellington Leg a towne like so many being nibbled to death by ducks. Taste in literature is an informal version of a public trust, a vestigial duty that acts as a pebble in the shoe of everyone who blogs about books, those who publish them, the mainstream media who review books, and the writers, agents and loved ones who attempt to write, present, and be paid to keep the great discussion alive.

The problem is one of dimension. We, the mob, are gathered at the foot of the mighty Bastille. Armed with sticks and stones and tattered clothing, we stand ready to storm the bastion of a callous overlord. But, our Bastille has seen better days. The walls are crumbling and the mustachioed regiment on guard run away whenever the mob appears.

At the bottom of this great pile of rocks we find the culprit: an unsolicited manuscript, the proverbial last straw. Instead of being burned at the stake, we are left to collect a few souvenir rocks.

It turns out the Bastille is going condo. Certain overtures of character will be incorporated into the new design creating the authentic look and feel of a place where people live. A window, a tree, maybe a little Astroturf. Synthetics to the rescue.

Wellington Leg: Ed Champion asked Marisha Pessl the following question: “What sort of herringbone plot structure did you jump off from?” Sadly we don’t know what Ms. Pessl’s reply was as the edition of the Bat Segundo Show “An Interview with Marisha Pessl” was spiked by Ed in deference to his inability to connect with his subject.

Marisha Pessl is the author of SPECIAL TOPICS IN CALAMITY PHYSICS, published by Viking last year.  The last time I wrote about Pessl the hits went through the ceiling and the squirrel cage that powers this blog overheated. But we’ve come not to praise Ms. Pessl nor defame her since the merits of her novel versus the size of her paycheck creates intense but uninformed response in the hearts of authors everywhere.

I’m thinking more about Ed than Marisha. He is the most talented book reviewer working today bursting at the seams with passion, energy and flamboyant insights that cause some discomfort, angst, even schadenfreude. Perhaps Marisha flinched in the batter’s box noting Ed in full windup is a daunting sight.

I think the correct answer to Ed’s herringbone plot structure question is: “Huh?” That’s just me. Someday I hope to be worthy of a Bat Segundo interview after topping the charts with one dazzling novel after another ( unputdownable!). Fortunately I have time to prepare for Ed with an informal study of men’s  suit and a subscription to WOMENS WEAR DAILY.

Here’s to seersucker plot devices and next year’s fashions.

While some wring their hands about Rupert Murdoch’s bid for the Dow Jones Co., home of the beloved Wall Street Journal, let us remember that News Corp already controls Harper Collins and My Space, a kind of stranglehold on publishing from opposite ends of the spectrum. The board of Dow Jones chose not to respond to Rupert’s overtures, turning up their noses at the tabloid king.

Here in Wellington Leg a similar crisis brews. The Druidical & Literary, a broadsheet of impeccable taste, plunged into the online world in 2005 with ONE MORE BITE OF THE APPLE, a blog devoted to all things literary in the Leg. What a strategic move! Two out of three former Soviet republics now turn exclusively to this blog when incomprehension becomes insatiable, that is to say, the less understood of les affaires litereuse explored so deeply and so often herein.

Now the Daily Druidical & Literary is completely edible becoming the first newspaper that not only features book reviews but tastes good too. Only a Socialist Pratt would object to consuming 750 words of cogent criticism or yesterday’s box scores so quickly rendered obsolete. With the Earl assuming the role as Page Seven Editor-at-Large we believe that the quality control issues that have manifested from time to time are a thing not only of beauty but of the past!

This is the last time we talk about flan, fixing the Super Bowl, parking at COSTCO, Adrienne Barbeau, VOLTAIRE’S MIASMA, chunky versus light tuna, Hugo Chavez, assorted Roman legions, the seige of Los Angeles, abalone entrails, or emiment domain. We’re on task: we’re on budget, we’re pulling into COSTCO now. Damn the parking lot is full of chariots.

There are the new centurions? Let them eat book reviews.

The Piltdown Exchange: Wellington Leg is going private. The towne and its environs including exurban Goth, Henley Hornbrooke, and Carthago Nova is being acquired by Ravenous Enterprises LLC headquartered near Versailles. Ravenous CEO M. Dumond issued a statement from the floor of the exchange despite heckling from the Live Hog Pit. “Ravenous will consume Wellington Leg, devouring its boroughs and funstiles, pillaging its precincts, consuming its contentments, squashing all attempts to sanitize salubrious claims of eminent domain. Ravenous remains robust of balance sheet exhibiting exhilirating excess and casting wretched defenestrated doubters upon the puts and calls of outrageous fortune.”

In exchange for voting rights peasants occupying the lands included herein will receive a bottle of beer ( 120z) and a dogeared copy of Ravenous LLC’s annual report ( Big Fat Report: 1233 pages). Louts and layabouts will cuff the unwashed until full compliance is achieved. This shall be know henceforth as the “purge.”

Since One More Bite of the Apple is headquartered in Wellington Leg, we feel we must flee to the foggy bottomland never forgetting our roots in the towne and should those roots grow out, to attend to them in the usual manner with all haste and speed.

The Earl, now satisfied that Australia is nowhere to be found, has planted his flag in defiance of the Ravenous decree. He will attempt to pull a mighty sword from a large dish of flan heretofore unpickable in our history. We shall blog on. We shall prevail and seize the day. Wellington Leg is not for sale!