Hogs Blamed for Reading Decline
Wellington Leg: Researchers at the Institute for Statistical Confusion are blaming the Earl of Watership Down for a steep decline in reading among citizens of the Leg and neighboring boroughs. Even allowing for a mathematical error ( interviewing rabbits) it is clear that reading is not as popular as it once was. After eliminating a family of vacationing Google bots ( they read everything) the study focused on the nuisance value The Earl presents:
“For two years citizens of the Leg have been subjected to an unauthorized character blog depicting their towne in an unflattering light. At the same time his refusal to pen his market weight hogs has coincided with several dreadful trends in literature, many caused by the Earl himself, at a time when reality TV and film sequels imply a cultural nadir that may be unprecedented.”
Still the opinions of rabbits are impossible to divorce from the findings since many of the respondents identify Bugs Bunny as their principle source of guidance when it comes to matters literary. To heighten the confusion several claimed that feral hogs “intimidated them” when asked about the works of Vargas-Llosa and the mysteries of Donna Leon. Market weight hogs are notorious in their dislike of both “irrational exuberance” and “alternative reality” probably due to the associations with pork belly trading.
DCI Borchardt plans to investigate charges of fraudulent results from the study. “Legians love to read,” he said. “Who can settle down with a Plum Sykes novel with a half ton hog reading over their shoulder?”
Anyone who witnessed a rabbit interview is asked to contact ONE MORE BITE OF THE APPLE care of the Wellington Leg Committee to Save Books from Rabbits Number 10 Drowning Street, The Mews.
“We guarantee strict confidentiality,” Borchardt said. “Thus far, only Ms. Adelaide Munster-Fibre has called to complain.” Ms. Munster-Fibre is a known crank with ties to the Conglomerate owned by Marty the Mogul. Geraldo reporting for the Eye that fell from the Sky.