BEA to Wellington Leg?
What would it take to bring Book Expo America to Wellington Leg? We asked Wilfredo Tagesblatt, VP of Development, as he grabbed a sandwich in the commissary where Pliny the Elder once held forth on the nature of celebrity. Mr. Tagesblatt cautioned against rising expectations in the matter of BEA site selection. “They chose LA for next year,” he said. “Despite the Roman seige.”
Wellington Leg is prepared to honor Rosie O’Donnell with the keys to the city. “The keys unlock an ancient mystery about a time when elephants roamed Long Island,” Mr. Tagesblatt said. “They built the Transit Authority,” he added.
A stylish magazine Wellington Leg Tonight will be developed in time for the conference. “Since book people are boring we’re looking at a Derek Jeter issue to coincide with the event. Maybe Jenna Bush posing with her book.” Few can forget the Dame Pamela Anderson issue that rocked Eddie’s Book Nook, Wellington Leg’s last indy bookstore, to its foundations a few years ago. “Eddie is a buzzmachine,” said Lars Kiekegaard, publicist of introspection, famous for his blurb “this book is adequate” or rather, “Adequate!” in the parlance of the industry.
The Earl will leave town: whenever company is expected the earl is willing to resume his search for Australia. His travel piece “The Myth of Down Under” suggests that Australia is a figment of the imagination and New Zealand is too far away. Australia’s ambassador to Wellington Leg is on home leave and was unavailable for comment.
Alternate side of the street parking regulations will be suspended if BEA chooses Wellington Leg. The current lottery system for east-west streets and byways is antiquated according to DCI Borchardt. “The Flying Squad stands prepared to deal with illegal parking in a metaphysical sense in that, yes, we are prepared, but not overly so, not over-prepared, but simply ready for the exigencies associated with a lunar timetable.”
As noted in the Sun the Easter egg hunt is over. Scooter is the big winner and will be homored at a brief ceremony at the Prince of Denmark Shopping Center. “It took eight weeks, but we found the eggs,” noted a spokesperson for the Prosecutrix. “With old business resolved, we welcome BEA with open arms.”